What are some funny and smart quotes?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

What are "demonic attacks" and how can one tell when they're happening to them, or someone else? How would one go about dealing with it?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

ESO Seasons of the Worm Cult Dev Q&A – ‘There’s Tons of Exciting Stuff We Haven’t Talked About That’s Coming to the Game’ - Wccftech

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

To a flat Earther, what's wrong with the idea that gravity is simply a force inherent to space which operates only in one dimension? Why do they go further and try to deny gravity rather than just saying it's different than physicists claim?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”